Freakin' VIP tickets for the Pole Championship in NYC are over 200 bucks! WTF?! I have the best friend in the world and he's paying for me for my birthday because I wanna go so badly. This should really help because 1) Chances are likely that I'll get written up in the magazine (being a VIP guest) and I can blurb about being a business owner for PH and 2) if 1 is true, I don't need to spend 400-some dollars on a vendor table at the event (which I don't want to man) and someone else who actually sells stuff can use one of the very few tables that are even there for that purpose. Whoohoo!
Also, if enough girlfriends from pole can accompany me, we can all share a penthouse and live in luxury. Why share multiple tiny rooms that are $250/person anyway when you can ALL sleep in one suite that's split into $200/person. Plus, we'll have room for our poles (I still don't have one ::sad face::) so we can practice.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Raw emotions, action
I went to quite possibly my last dance team social and said goodbye to a good number of buddies. -- I can't call them "friends". It just wasn't that type of relationship --
This weekend will be the hardest - saying goodbye to my director. She's hosting a dance at the Beach in memory of her daughter. Is that particularly a bad time to break news that I'm leaving? ...especially when I'm staying at her beach home for the weekend? Hmm... maybe I'll hold off. ::bites lip::
Oh, Air conditioning is all fix-ied! YAY!
This weekend will be the hardest - saying goodbye to my director. She's hosting a dance at the Beach in memory of her daughter. Is that particularly a bad time to break news that I'm leaving? ...especially when I'm staying at her beach home for the weekend? Hmm... maybe I'll hold off. ::bites lip::
Oh, Air conditioning is all fix-ied! YAY!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Miserable three weeks turned into a fabulous DAY
I'm accepting a career offer in ballroom. Confusing, right? Don't worry, I'll still run PoleHappy.com and I'm totally attending the APFA Championships in NYC annually but a girl's gotta make money, right?
I applied on Monday night, got an interview Tuesday afternoon and a written job offer Wednesday morning (today). I'm still on the high from how well in the interview went. It's funny what life throws at you sometimes, you know?
Being under contract, I'm going to need to sever all ties to my ballroom venues (other than the one in which I'm working ). THAT's going to be an emotional journey.
::singing:: I don't wanna grow up; I'm a Toys-R-Us kid....
I applied on Monday night, got an interview Tuesday afternoon and a written job offer Wednesday morning (today). I'm still on the high from how well in the interview went. It's funny what life throws at you sometimes, you know?
Being under contract, I'm going to need to sever all ties to my ballroom venues (other than the one in which I'm working ). THAT's going to be an emotional journey.
::singing:: I don't wanna grow up; I'm a Toys-R-Us kid....
Monday, June 13, 2011
Well, I fucked up.
The guy came to fix my A/C on Tuesday and noticed that either during shipment or installation that a piece of the motor is broken. Someone at installation covered it up and what's funny is that of all the years this unit has been serviced, no one reported this broken piece. The new A/C guy changed few settings and didn't exactly FIX the problem, but made the A/C work enough so that air was still circulated and some bit of cooling took effect.
That was fine for a few days until the A/C broke for real a couple days later. The first time it pooped out, the worst the house got was up to 86 degrees. Now the house was 92! Luckily, I was already having the guy come back on Monday (so I didn't need to fight with people over the phone to get service again).
So, it's Monday... and guess what. The company calls and says they don't have the piece in yet, and when they do, my A/C guy will come over. There is no hint that this will happen today. :(
That was fine for a few days until the A/C broke for real a couple days later. The first time it pooped out, the worst the house got was up to 86 degrees. Now the house was 92! Luckily, I was already having the guy come back on Monday (so I didn't need to fight with people over the phone to get service again).
So, it's Monday... and guess what. The company calls and says they don't have the piece in yet, and when they do, my A/C guy will come over. There is no hint that this will happen today. :(
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I have absolutely nothing to write about that you would want to read
...but that's what blogs are for, right? Reading my random rambles.
So, here goes: I've been without A/C on the WORST weekend possible. Day #7 of 100-degree heat index outdoors, so the coolest it gets in my house is 85, 86. The heat pump jerks FINALLY called me back (no one worked over the holiday, holiday weekend, or the days prior to the holiday weekend) and the soonest they are sending anyone out to me is Tuesday. WTF?! If I haven't melted by then, I'll post again next Wednesday.
It's situations like this - exactly - that make me thankful I don't currently have pets to suffer with me.
So, here goes: I've been without A/C on the WORST weekend possible. Day #7 of 100-degree heat index outdoors, so the coolest it gets in my house is 85, 86. The heat pump jerks FINALLY called me back (no one worked over the holiday, holiday weekend, or the days prior to the holiday weekend) and the soonest they are sending anyone out to me is Tuesday. WTF?! If I haven't melted by then, I'll post again next Wednesday.
It's situations like this - exactly - that make me thankful I don't currently have pets to suffer with me.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Steampunk World's Fair 2011
There are few reasons I'd accept to go into New Jersey. SPWF is definately one of them.
It wasn't really much to write home about. I had a great time, spent too much money, got to catch up with my best friend.... but I'm probably not going back. Granted, I'd be interested to return in maybe 10 years when it's potentially much bigger. There were too many young people there, and it's not the fact that the ratio of teens/twenties-to-30plus was ridiculous, but that those teens and 20-somethings were all goth. Granted, I have nothing against black clothes and makeup with wild, purple hair. It's quite attractive on some. But seeing floods of them in one hotel.... I'll pass. The best costumes I noticed all weekend were from older individuals and I do NOT mean OLD. Just... older than the dominant age at the convention. It's probably because they have the financial resources at greater disposal than their younger followers. C'est la vie, je suppose.
HVBRIS was there, which was just about the only thing at the fair I was jumping up and down to see. They'll be at Dorian's Parlor for the 1-year anniversary party. Hello, hometown of Philly. I'mma comin' back for more!
It wasn't really much to write home about. I had a great time, spent too much money, got to catch up with my best friend.... but I'm probably not going back. Granted, I'd be interested to return in maybe 10 years when it's potentially much bigger. There were too many young people there, and it's not the fact that the ratio of teens/twenties-to-30plus was ridiculous, but that those teens and 20-somethings were all goth. Granted, I have nothing against black clothes and makeup with wild, purple hair. It's quite attractive on some. But seeing floods of them in one hotel.... I'll pass. The best costumes I noticed all weekend were from older individuals and I do NOT mean OLD. Just... older than the dominant age at the convention. It's probably because they have the financial resources at greater disposal than their younger followers. C'est la vie, je suppose.
HVBRIS was there, which was just about the only thing at the fair I was jumping up and down to see. They'll be at Dorian's Parlor for the 1-year anniversary party. Hello, hometown of Philly. I'mma comin' back for more!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Some people are real assholes
Note about your Cordy - she's a country girl, not a city girl. I love working in the city, but I'll always go home to the country. I don't lie to keep relationships interesting (family and friends included). I don't play head games. I don't say one thing and secretly wish you'd hope I mean the opposite. I don't use people. When someone is helping me out, I thank them to the point of annoyance. Hell, half the time someone wants to help me, I refuse it (even when I need it). I don't like burdening people.
People are not playthings (save for babies, but you need to be careful you don't break them or psychologically damage them). Pets are because they're less intelligent. Dogs especially want to please you. I don't practice that kind of a relationship (like that with dogs) with HUMANS.
All my life, I've been a terrible liar... but I'm apparently a worse truth-teller. Ex-friends left and right are telling me that I'm "completely dishonest". It makes NO SENSE to me.
- Are you having a good time?
- ::said with a completely straight face:: Yes, thank you for inviting me. I'm glad I'm here.
- God, if you're miserable, take your bitchiness home.
OK, I don't express happiness like NORMAL people. I can be quietly content. I smile when someone is funny or I witness an act that amuses me, but I usually just.... watch calmly in public. I don't like to drink, so I won't be one of those "POUR ME ANOTHER!"-types who celebrates good times with shameless drunkenness. I'm not a good joke-teller, so I won't be hanging out with the types that glorify crude, infantile, or potentially offensive humor. When I say "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!", I'm not the kind of girl who gets up and dances like this. [It's clean, I promise.] I just sit there, close my eyes, and sway as my soul responds to the music. You know, the way we civilized people do. :)
If you hate me because I said something honest that pissed you off, OK. I have little problem with you hating me for legitimate reasons. I disagree with them, but it's real. What pisses ME off is that people hate me for shit that isn't true. Your boyfriend is talking to me while your drunk self witnesses it. Cue your being pissed at me for YEARS for hitting on your boyfriend. We were having a normal conversation about how much we appreciate you as a friend - go figure - and your jealous ass now hates me for something that never happened.
Or take, for instance, a guy that seems to be real, kind, and intelligent. I think I could actually make a friend, yay! Why does it seem like out of the blue he becomes an ASSHOLE that just wants to get in your pants? Because ten minutes later, he tries to kiss me. I push him off. He's all what-the-fuck and you-know-you-want-it.
Here's a second note: When asking if a girl has a boyfriend and she replies with an affirmative answer, it doesn't mean try harder. It doesn't mean she's attempting to give you a challenge, either. I'm so fucking naive. How come I'm weaker now as an adult than I was as a child? Surely there are signs before you end up yelling "No!" at advances.
There are, literally, men whom I swear have never heard the word "no" spoken to them by a woman.
this is probably to be continued
People are not playthings (save for babies, but you need to be careful you don't break them or psychologically damage them). Pets are because they're less intelligent. Dogs especially want to please you. I don't practice that kind of a relationship (like that with dogs) with HUMANS.
All my life, I've been a terrible liar... but I'm apparently a worse truth-teller. Ex-friends left and right are telling me that I'm "completely dishonest". It makes NO SENSE to me.
- Are you having a good time?
- ::said with a completely straight face:: Yes, thank you for inviting me. I'm glad I'm here.
- God, if you're miserable, take your bitchiness home.
OK, I don't express happiness like NORMAL people. I can be quietly content. I smile when someone is funny or I witness an act that amuses me, but I usually just.... watch calmly in public. I don't like to drink, so I won't be one of those "POUR ME ANOTHER!"-types who celebrates good times with shameless drunkenness. I'm not a good joke-teller, so I won't be hanging out with the types that glorify crude, infantile, or potentially offensive humor. When I say "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!", I'm not the kind of girl who gets up and dances like this. [It's clean, I promise.] I just sit there, close my eyes, and sway as my soul responds to the music. You know, the way we civilized people do. :)
If you hate me because I said something honest that pissed you off, OK. I have little problem with you hating me for legitimate reasons. I disagree with them, but it's real. What pisses ME off is that people hate me for shit that isn't true. Your boyfriend is talking to me while your drunk self witnesses it. Cue your being pissed at me for YEARS for hitting on your boyfriend. We were having a normal conversation about how much we appreciate you as a friend - go figure - and your jealous ass now hates me for something that never happened.
Or take, for instance, a guy that seems to be real, kind, and intelligent. I think I could actually make a friend, yay! Why does it seem like out of the blue he becomes an ASSHOLE that just wants to get in your pants? Because ten minutes later, he tries to kiss me. I push him off. He's all what-the-fuck and you-know-you-want-it.
Here's a second note: When asking if a girl has a boyfriend and she replies with an affirmative answer, it doesn't mean try harder. It doesn't mean she's attempting to give you a challenge, either. I'm so fucking naive. How come I'm weaker now as an adult than I was as a child? Surely there are signs before you end up yelling "No!" at advances.
There are, literally, men whom I swear have never heard the word "no" spoken to them by a woman.
this is probably to be continued
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
You're Damn Right, I'm a Hypocrite!
I'm not ashamed to say it. I am one and I love myself, so that means I love being a hypocrite, right? LoL
My own advice is the most difficult to follow. Examples:
My own advice is the most difficult to follow. Examples:
- If you want something, ask for it! If it's right for you, it'll come at the right time.
- I want to be a dance instructor! No one will e-mail me back about positions. They post online that they are looking for teachers, so I e-mail them. I tell them I shall forward my resume as per their instructions, providing I GET the instructions. Me no get da mailz.
- Fool me once, shame on you. (If you're a lucky bastard and I forgave you:) Fool me twice, shame on me. (Then, BYE!)
- ::sigh:: When you're in love, you never can follow your own rules, right? Grr!
- If you learn only two things from life, make them these: what you want & how to ask for it
- I'm so humble and I consistently underestimate myself. I rarely find myself worthy for something I think I want and JUST THAT - I believe so strongly in looking again at my wants. Do I really want this, are third parties driving me to want this, or do I just think I want this (I'm glorifying it).
- Snail's pace or hare's pace is irrelevant; forward motion is the thing that counts.
- I'm such a perfectionist. If I don't do it at all, I'm not getting ANYWHERE. If I don't meet my own expectations, I trash what progress I've made.
- You must show up to follow.
- It's not always the thought that counts. You have to take action. Wanting to take part is not enough. Good intentions don't mean diddly if you didn't DO anything. Most people don't remember WHY you did it, but THAT you did it. And of course it means nothing when you meant to help out but didn't (for whatever reason).
- Enjoy where you are on the way to where you're going.
- ha, yeah, my worst one. I always want to be better... now.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
I'm not Autistic!
God help me - why, oh, why did I pursue psychology? Especially in the last 15 months, people have asked me if they have Asperger's Syndrome. In FACT, the last person to ask even said, "its the latest and coolest disorder to have these days." What the F@¢%?!
What's worse is that some are telling me I should get scanned. Um, sorry? Yes, I have trouble sleeping. Yes, I utilize a vast and intellectual vocabulary, like an outlier of modern communicative habits. Yes, I mini-obsess over niche-targeted topics. Yes, I'm hypersensitive. Yes, I'm a perfectionist. And sure, I demonstrate a lack of empathy...
But let me tell you this - my awful relationship with sleep? Parents. Stress.
Vocab? Sorry, I went to private school and it was demanded of me to be above everyone else. It was rewarded.
Obsessing - I have a large capacity for information. I have a multitude of interests. I research and research and research.
My hypersensitivity is due to blue eyes, scar tissue on my ear drums, and my family's complete lack of taste in cuisine beyond sandwiches. Plus, I'm female.
The perfectionist issue stems from being an only child, raising myself, and a desire to better oneself.
"Lack of empathy"? No, I'm not misunderstanding you. I either find you boring, ignorant, or full of ill-intent. Of course I'd rather be alone.
Of course there a a dozen more I fit, but I'll spare you... plus, you get my point.
OK, after reading the above, I should state two more:
What's worse is that some are telling me I should get scanned. Um, sorry? Yes, I have trouble sleeping. Yes, I utilize a vast and intellectual vocabulary, like an outlier of modern communicative habits. Yes, I mini-obsess over niche-targeted topics. Yes, I'm hypersensitive. Yes, I'm a perfectionist. And sure, I demonstrate a lack of empathy...
But let me tell you this - my awful relationship with sleep? Parents. Stress.
Vocab? Sorry, I went to private school and it was demanded of me to be above everyone else. It was rewarded.
Obsessing - I have a large capacity for information. I have a multitude of interests. I research and research and research.
My hypersensitivity is due to blue eyes, scar tissue on my ear drums, and my family's complete lack of taste in cuisine beyond sandwiches. Plus, I'm female.
The perfectionist issue stems from being an only child, raising myself, and a desire to better oneself.
"Lack of empathy"? No, I'm not misunderstanding you. I either find you boring, ignorant, or full of ill-intent. Of course I'd rather be alone.
Of course there a a dozen more I fit, but I'll spare you... plus, you get my point.
OK, after reading the above, I should state two more:
- I talk. A lot. Not comfortably, but because I have a significant hearing loss and I'd rather talk your ear off than mistranslate, mishear, or miss entirely what you said. Don't get me started on phones.
- I HATE looking people in the eye. In two seconds, I feel like I'm staring. I feel WAY too open if I lock eyes with someone. My eyes usually start watering, too. Maybe because looking up means that my eyes are further open meaning more light is coming into my eye and my retina can't take it. Quite honestly, the best liars I ever met look you right in the eye and don't hesitate for a second. I'm too full of emotion. I stumble on words. I talk with my hands. I raise my voice. I mumble. -- It sucks when I'm doing all of those at the same time --
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Poor but motivated
I haven't bought a video game in years. I think I'm in withdrawal. Granted, I've played them off-and-on and the newest games I've come to own have been purchased for me - THANK YOU, FRIENDS.
Going cold-turkey on pole dancing is taking it's toll. I went to ballroom/latin party at a dance studio Saturday night and after one foxtrot and a cha-cha, I was ready to take a breather. "You're the young one," a gentleman stated. My response went something like, "Youth has nothing to do with it. You need to use it to keep it." Aka, I'm out of shape.
To remedy this, I'm using the money I saved from canceling my pole dancing lessons to better my ballroom dancing. If I'm going to compete, I should take it more seriously anyway. I'm a great dancer in some areas. Watching couples on the dance floor this weekend made me very humble from a realization that I don't know a good number of dances. It's easy to get lessons for Waltz, Foxtrot, Rumba, Cha-cha, et al. But I like Samba, Bolero, West Coast Swing.... and those dances aren't frequently taught. I suck at the V. Waltz (because it's never been taught to me) and I've never done the quickstep in my life. Heck, I've only ever seen it danced once - and that was this weekend.
May goal: Quickstep & West Coast Swing lessons
Going cold-turkey on pole dancing is taking it's toll. I went to ballroom/latin party at a dance studio Saturday night and after one foxtrot and a cha-cha, I was ready to take a breather. "You're the young one," a gentleman stated. My response went something like, "Youth has nothing to do with it. You need to use it to keep it." Aka, I'm out of shape.
To remedy this, I'm using the money I saved from canceling my pole dancing lessons to better my ballroom dancing. If I'm going to compete, I should take it more seriously anyway. I'm a great dancer in some areas. Watching couples on the dance floor this weekend made me very humble from a realization that I don't know a good number of dances. It's easy to get lessons for Waltz, Foxtrot, Rumba, Cha-cha, et al. But I like Samba, Bolero, West Coast Swing.... and those dances aren't frequently taught. I suck at the V. Waltz (because it's never been taught to me) and I've never done the quickstep in my life. Heck, I've only ever seen it danced once - and that was this weekend.
May goal: Quickstep & West Coast Swing lessons
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tech-savvy
I quit pole. I'm poor. Don't worry, the polehappy website will still continue. I'm working on one for ballroom right now.
I know I'm getting old because my debt is solely from medical bills. I had a $7,000 bridge put in and I need new hearing aids. On the plus side... I have my smile back and I can answer my cellular phone with my hearing aids via bluetooth! Oh, yeah, I'm technologically advanced!
Of course after you barely scrounge around for funds for medical procedures, your car poops out and you surrender over a grand that you DON'T HAVE to get it fixed. Pffth! I protest!
I know I'm getting old because my debt is solely from medical bills. I had a $7,000 bridge put in and I need new hearing aids. On the plus side... I have my smile back and I can answer my cellular phone with my hearing aids via bluetooth! Oh, yeah, I'm technologically advanced!
Of course after you barely scrounge around for funds for medical procedures, your car poops out and you surrender over a grand that you DON'T HAVE to get it fixed. Pffth! I protest!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Fuck Mondays
This morning sucks. What ass threw bad karma at me this morning? I don't believe I have this much poor luck.
So here's where it got started: I took a phone call from a friend last night who was hurting. No complaints here, I'm happy to be a shoulder for someone I care about. I got to sleep around.... 3am, which is insanely late for me anymore. I didn't have to be at work until 11am thankfully (at the latest, although it's always good to go in early). Cue this morning. I get texts at 7am -- from one person, so it's ignorable -- then 8am I get more from the ballroom team. I can't ignore multiple-senders because my phone goes apeshit on me.
Here's basically how it all laid out, first text I receive: I forgot the iPod for the classes tonight - ok, ask so-and-so to bring music - he's not going to be there - and the other one doesn't have samba music. Hmm, I have like, three songs on mine, but it's better than nothing so I'll bring mine.....(long pause, I can't find it)... crap, it's dead and getting repaired. I forgot
I look online to buy some on my other iPod (which has two samba songs, but they are terrible to teach beginners with) and I took so damn long that I missed my shower. OK, whatever, as long as I get breakfast. I get dressed and to shorten the story, I get breakfast all over my pants. I haven't done laundry in ages, so I have to put on a dirty pair of pants. I'd wear a dress if I shaved in the shower. But, no shower. I find my least-dirty dirty pants. I put them in the dryer to get lint off (which is why they looked dirty in the first place). Moving on....
I have no time for cooking food anymore, so I whip something up: bacon sandwich. Quick, effortless, and tasty still. Protein makes you think you're full (yay, because I won't eat for six hours) and.... oh, wait..... I just got a dental bridge that's still healing. I can't bite into this sucker. Toast is OK (pushing it, but OK) but bacon? Fuck me! I can't bite into that and like hell I'm tearing it up into tiny pieces creating tons of crumbs I'm gonna need to clean up. GRR.
Running out of time, I decide to be bold and bite into the damn thing anyway. Plus, food. Negative, OW! Later I'm to realize I got crumbs on my pants again anyway, so what was the point of de-linting them?... I was trying to be careful biting into the sandwich that my bite was all off (understandably so) and I made a mess. UGH ok, the show must go on. Pour some apple juice and be on my way. ::pours, drinks some:: and I'm a greedy bastard so I pour some more with only a little left in the bottle and I missed! It didn't spill over or whatnot.... I just MISSED the glass. There's now apple juice on the island, floor, and OH NO not my leather shoes. ::sigh:: I surgically remove my sandals once I clean the kitchen (leather shrinks, you know) and now I need other shoes. The ones I found don't match, but they do their job.
Since last time the apple juice ended up all over the kitchen and not inside my mouth, I drink so more. Wait for it.... yes, I got apple juice on my shirt. No problem if you're not wearing WHITE. I change my shirt. Something clean, appropriate (can't wear sheer, extremely low-cut, or vulgar shirts to teach a class, can you?), and fit-- ::buttons pop::
Did I really? This isn't happening. I mean, I'm not a large-chested girl by any means but COME ON I wore this shirt less than two years ago and I haven't grown any.... or so I thought. I still wear other clothes from two, three years ago that fit just fine. RARR! I'm pissed now. I have another of the same kind of shirt, but the shell underneath doesn't color coordinate at ALL with the second one. Whatever. My shoes, now my shirt... whatever.
No shower, little food (and what little I ate has since bruised my gums where my new bridge is situated), NO samba music (I know, I know... I was too picky. iTunes sucks for Latin ballroom music that isn't intimidating to newbies), smelling like apple juice with ill-matched clothes, I drive to work. Last light before the bus station..... and the little old lady in front of me isn't moving.... it's green! ::honk::... let's go! ::honk:: Did she have a heart attack at the wheel? I need to go to work! I can see the shuttle bus driving down the road now. She's still got me trapped here. We wait for another cycle of lights, she diecides to go this time, and I've missed my bus. Great, I'm gonna be late for work. Oh, why does my tummy hurt? Oh, right, I've been hurrying and cursing at my luck and worrying if I was going to be late for work (which is now confirmed) so now my nerves are acting against my stomach. Welcome to Monday.
So here's where it got started: I took a phone call from a friend last night who was hurting. No complaints here, I'm happy to be a shoulder for someone I care about. I got to sleep around.... 3am, which is insanely late for me anymore. I didn't have to be at work until 11am thankfully (at the latest, although it's always good to go in early). Cue this morning. I get texts at 7am -- from one person, so it's ignorable -- then 8am I get more from the ballroom team. I can't ignore multiple-senders because my phone goes apeshit on me.
Here's basically how it all laid out, first text I receive: I forgot the iPod for the classes tonight - ok, ask so-and-so to bring music - he's not going to be there - and the other one doesn't have samba music. Hmm, I have like, three songs on mine, but it's better than nothing so I'll bring mine.....(long pause, I can't find it)... crap, it's dead and getting repaired. I forgot
I look online to buy some on my other iPod (which has two samba songs, but they are terrible to teach beginners with) and I took so damn long that I missed my shower. OK, whatever, as long as I get breakfast. I get dressed and to shorten the story, I get breakfast all over my pants. I haven't done laundry in ages, so I have to put on a dirty pair of pants. I'd wear a dress if I shaved in the shower. But, no shower. I find my least-dirty dirty pants. I put them in the dryer to get lint off (which is why they looked dirty in the first place). Moving on....
I have no time for cooking food anymore, so I whip something up: bacon sandwich. Quick, effortless, and tasty still. Protein makes you think you're full (yay, because I won't eat for six hours) and.... oh, wait..... I just got a dental bridge that's still healing. I can't bite into this sucker. Toast is OK (pushing it, but OK) but bacon? Fuck me! I can't bite into that and like hell I'm tearing it up into tiny pieces creating tons of crumbs I'm gonna need to clean up. GRR.
Running out of time, I decide to be bold and bite into the damn thing anyway. Plus, food. Negative, OW! Later I'm to realize I got crumbs on my pants again anyway, so what was the point of de-linting them?... I was trying to be careful biting into the sandwich that my bite was all off (understandably so) and I made a mess. UGH ok, the show must go on. Pour some apple juice and be on my way. ::pours, drinks some:: and I'm a greedy bastard so I pour some more with only a little left in the bottle and I missed! It didn't spill over or whatnot.... I just MISSED the glass. There's now apple juice on the island, floor, and OH NO not my leather shoes. ::sigh:: I surgically remove my sandals once I clean the kitchen (leather shrinks, you know) and now I need other shoes. The ones I found don't match, but they do their job.
Since last time the apple juice ended up all over the kitchen and not inside my mouth, I drink so more. Wait for it.... yes, I got apple juice on my shirt. No problem if you're not wearing WHITE. I change my shirt. Something clean, appropriate (can't wear sheer, extremely low-cut, or vulgar shirts to teach a class, can you?), and fit-- ::buttons pop::
Did I really? This isn't happening. I mean, I'm not a large-chested girl by any means but COME ON I wore this shirt less than two years ago and I haven't grown any.... or so I thought. I still wear other clothes from two, three years ago that fit just fine. RARR! I'm pissed now. I have another of the same kind of shirt, but the shell underneath doesn't color coordinate at ALL with the second one. Whatever. My shoes, now my shirt... whatever.
No shower, little food (and what little I ate has since bruised my gums where my new bridge is situated), NO samba music (I know, I know... I was too picky. iTunes sucks for Latin ballroom music that isn't intimidating to newbies), smelling like apple juice with ill-matched clothes, I drive to work. Last light before the bus station..... and the little old lady in front of me isn't moving.... it's green! ::honk::... let's go! ::honk:: Did she have a heart attack at the wheel? I need to go to work! I can see the shuttle bus driving down the road now. She's still got me trapped here. We wait for another cycle of lights, she diecides to go this time, and I've missed my bus. Great, I'm gonna be late for work. Oh, why does my tummy hurt? Oh, right, I've been hurrying and cursing at my luck and worrying if I was going to be late for work (which is now confirmed) so now my nerves are acting against my stomach. Welcome to Monday.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Painful-turned-tolerable
I found a book I liked enough to buy! The bad news is that I found it days before leaving, so I still has nothing to read for most of two weeks. At least I got to read it on the plane.
My cousin was nice enough to have her baby two days before I left. I got to welcome a new member into the family. Just when I was about bored out of my skull and dying to go home, I spent a weekend with a real cutie.
Now, most babies are really ugly when they're born; I've had plenty of opportunities to witness it. But little Riley is so adorable. He gets bonus points, too, for sleeping the whole time I saw him over two days. He didn't fuss or whine or cry or nuthin. I like 'em that way.
My cousin was nice enough to have her baby two days before I left. I got to welcome a new member into the family. Just when I was about bored out of my skull and dying to go home, I spent a weekend with a real cutie.
Now, most babies are really ugly when they're born; I've had plenty of opportunities to witness it. But little Riley is so adorable. He gets bonus points, too, for sleeping the whole time I saw him over two days. He didn't fuss or whine or cry or nuthin. I like 'em that way.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Winter at Wendy's and Walmart
I don't know what ailed me to go to Wisconsin in March/April - Oh, yeah... family.
When I landed in WI, I was greeted with snow and freezing rain. They wanted me out because I, apparently, was "bringing the snow" with me. Back east, everyone was telling me to come back because the day after I left, it snowed. So glad to be traveling again :P
There really is nothing to do in Wisconsin. Well, you can pick potatoes in the summer... but it wasn't summer. Let's see, I played bingo and won twice. I went to Walmart (ya-HOO!). Their Goodwills are the size of department stores. "Fine dining" is my equivalent of a roadside diner.
The few times I was anxious to go out, it was snowing outside and my uncle said "Take the truck!". I told him I'm not going anywhere because it's snowing and he just looked at me funny with, "Are you kidding? That's nothing! -- "But Uncle, there's like, three inches of snow out there. I don't wanna die." -- "Nah, you'll be fine. The ice is only about half an inch. -- SAY WHAT?! (I keep forgetting that heavy snow, half an inch of ice, 4-degree temperature and 25 mph wind-gusts are nothing for Wisconsin folk. They worry when there's freezing rain and sub-zero temperatures accompanied with 40 mph wind.
Last time I was here, I brought three books and didn't even finish one of them. Learning from my mistake, I brought only one book this time. Well, I finished that book before 24 hours were up, and I'm bookless for my trip. Grr! I need to by a new one. Soon.
When I landed in WI, I was greeted with snow and freezing rain. They wanted me out because I, apparently, was "bringing the snow" with me. Back east, everyone was telling me to come back because the day after I left, it snowed. So glad to be traveling again :P
There really is nothing to do in Wisconsin. Well, you can pick potatoes in the summer... but it wasn't summer. Let's see, I played bingo and won twice. I went to Walmart (ya-HOO!). Their Goodwills are the size of department stores. "Fine dining" is my equivalent of a roadside diner.
The few times I was anxious to go out, it was snowing outside and my uncle said "Take the truck!". I told him I'm not going anywhere because it's snowing and he just looked at me funny with, "Are you kidding? That's nothing! -- "But Uncle, there's like, three inches of snow out there. I don't wanna die." -- "Nah, you'll be fine. The ice is only about half an inch. -- SAY WHAT?! (I keep forgetting that heavy snow, half an inch of ice, 4-degree temperature and 25 mph wind-gusts are nothing for Wisconsin folk. They worry when there's freezing rain and sub-zero temperatures accompanied with 40 mph wind.
Last time I was here, I brought three books and didn't even finish one of them. Learning from my mistake, I brought only one book this time. Well, I finished that book before 24 hours were up, and I'm bookless for my trip. Grr! I need to by a new one. Soon.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
All Healed
Whoops, I promised some healed tat pictures and I failed to report! I'm slacking. TK better pick up.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
When Did Names Get So Confusing?
So it's really awkward when you pick up Pole Dancing for shits and giggles -- and a few weeks into it you find esteemed colleagues, teachers, and business associates from your job or other... hobbies (shall we call them) IN your pole classes. Second point to mention: You call these individuals "madame", "ma'am", "Doctor", or "Mrs. So-and-so" while at work or endeavoring your... hobbies... and in your pole classes you're supposed to refer to them on a first-name basis. OK, I can deal with that. In fact, I've become sort of, friends with these women since we've taken pole classes together. I cannot, however, deal with now being comfortable addressing my new friends as Cindy, or Nikki, or Mel when I see them again in the original, professional setting and accidentally calling them by their given names. Talk about "WHOOPS!".
Anyway... on a positive note, my workshop with David Owen was torturously awesome. I was so scared during the first half hour of the workshop, but David boosted my Ego for the last hour complimenting me on my strength and control for dismounts :) The personal attention this man gives you is unbelievable. The bruises are killing, though.
Anyway... on a positive note, my workshop with David Owen was torturously awesome. I was so scared during the first half hour of the workshop, but David boosted my Ego for the last hour complimenting me on my strength and control for dismounts :) The personal attention this man gives you is unbelievable. The bruises are killing, though.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Whee, boring desk work
I'm literally sitting here... at my desk... painting my nails... with the gorgeous outdoor sun beaming in my window with no apology.
Random WTF moment: I heard/read that Tangled will be Disney's last fairy-tale motion picture. Why? Because little girls don't care about being princesses anymore. Apparently society has shifted their values to being cool and looking hot. So after almost three-quarters of a century, the top children's movie maker in Hollywood is giving up on what precisely gave birth to their earned fame. Since when did feminism dictate mass media? According to young girls aged 5 and 6 in America, marriage doesn't hold much value, either. Thus, I bid farewell to grace, purity, humility (in regards to being humble, of course), and even monogamous marriage. Plastic surgery, thousand-dollar jeans, and boyfriends with no positive qualities but "hotness" are on the way.... Gee, makes you really want to have kids, hunh?
Random WTF moment: I heard/read that Tangled will be Disney's last fairy-tale motion picture. Why? Because little girls don't care about being princesses anymore. Apparently society has shifted their values to being cool and looking hot. So after almost three-quarters of a century, the top children's movie maker in Hollywood is giving up on what precisely gave birth to their earned fame. Since when did feminism dictate mass media? According to young girls aged 5 and 6 in America, marriage doesn't hold much value, either. Thus, I bid farewell to grace, purity, humility (in regards to being humble, of course), and even monogamous marriage. Plastic surgery, thousand-dollar jeans, and boyfriends with no positive qualities but "hotness" are on the way.... Gee, makes you really want to have kids, hunh?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
My Tattoo is done
The photo is crooked, but don't blame me - I didn't take it.
If you're unfamiliar with tattoos, it won't stay that dark. The shading will fade out a bit and it's only red because I'm sore.
I'm pretty happy with it.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Talk about bursting my bubble
Unbeknown to me, a private event became a public party. Tell me how comfortable you would be if two of your Ex's showed up at the club's privately reserved bar? And since you've been out of said relationships, you have a new hobby - pole dancing - of which both are well-aware.
I don't like crowds, nor do I like my eardrums blasted for three hours. It was a bad night all-around...
Since then, I've been sleeping for crap. I've sucked at pole all week because my muscles don't recover enough for the following day. No love. :(
I need to quit my studio membership because I simply can't afford it anymore. I still don't have a pole at home! How am I gonna practice? ::sniffle::
I don't like crowds, nor do I like my eardrums blasted for three hours. It was a bad night all-around...
Since then, I've been sleeping for crap. I've sucked at pole all week because my muscles don't recover enough for the following day. No love. :(
I need to quit my studio membership because I simply can't afford it anymore. I still don't have a pole at home! How am I gonna practice? ::sniffle::
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Chaotic Resolve
I lost it. I just carelessly brushed it aside and now it’s gone. And I want it back but there’s no way to get it back, to get it back from the ignorant unappreciative hands in which it surely has fallen into. That makes it that much more painful, the loss, knowing that whoever finds it will not love and cherish it as much as I did is like daggers through my twisted and groaning soul.
Loneliness sets it. Or is it loneliness? Is it just veiled rage waiting to release itself from its bonds hurting the same hurt that I am because it knows that it, as a feeling, is enslaved by my decisions and entrapped by my mind? Probably the latter. So it wrenches and wriggles trying to squirm free but to no avail.
But I feel it. Oh I feel it. I feel every moment of it like churning of my stomach or even worse, a kick and a punch from the inside, paining and bruising me every time I consciously or unconsciously think. It’s always there yearning to break free. But I don’t let it go. I don’t let it ravage the countrysides with its fire and boundless energy. I have the power to keep it in. I am me, matador of my thoughts, and trainer of my feelings.
So I hold it by the reigns like a horse at bay, this hate…this hate so personal because it is indeed personally directed at my person.
Alas, I turn and it takes a chance. It kicks me once and I double over. A crack in the wall starting small but growing large. I let go.
Loneliness sets it. Or is it loneliness? Is it just veiled rage waiting to release itself from its bonds hurting the same hurt that I am because it knows that it, as a feeling, is enslaved by my decisions and entrapped by my mind? Probably the latter. So it wrenches and wriggles trying to squirm free but to no avail.
But I feel it. Oh I feel it. I feel every moment of it like churning of my stomach or even worse, a kick and a punch from the inside, paining and bruising me every time I consciously or unconsciously think. It’s always there yearning to break free. But I don’t let it go. I don’t let it ravage the countrysides with its fire and boundless energy. I have the power to keep it in. I am me, matador of my thoughts, and trainer of my feelings.
So I hold it by the reigns like a horse at bay, this hate…this hate so personal because it is indeed personally directed at my person.
Alas, I turn and it takes a chance. It kicks me once and I double over. A crack in the wall starting small but growing large. I let go.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Novocaine for the Soul?
Well, it's been one of those weeks: good, bad, ugly, magical...
My tat looks great. It's officially in the last stage of healing: peeling. Yuck, but yay.
Yesterday was cruel punishment for giving up my own apartment. It's a long story, so just trust me on this one. It partly has to do with parents.
I'm trying to wake the F up:
--work more on the business. Seriously, stop half-assing my work just because I'm self-employed.
--realize what the hell I want in a romantic relationship. Stop hurting people with indecision and/or fear.
--develop a style. Home, wardrobe, hair, maybe even a way of speaking that doesn't demand such patience.
--commit to a workout routine. Cough up the 400 bucks and get a freakin pole for home... and USE it.
I wish I could afford a dog. It's like being worshipped without needing to invest all the emotion in return. They don't ask for the same dependency. And they don't talk! ...at least not that you can coherently understand their language. I like taking care of things. It's not so much that I need to be a master, but it's nice to have relative control over a conscious being. I'm sick, I know... ::laughs::
My tat looks great. It's officially in the last stage of healing: peeling. Yuck, but yay.
Yesterday was cruel punishment for giving up my own apartment. It's a long story, so just trust me on this one. It partly has to do with parents.
I'm trying to wake the F up:
--work more on the business. Seriously, stop half-assing my work just because I'm self-employed.
--realize what the hell I want in a romantic relationship. Stop hurting people with indecision and/or fear.
--develop a style. Home, wardrobe, hair, maybe even a way of speaking that doesn't demand such patience.
--commit to a workout routine. Cough up the 400 bucks and get a freakin pole for home... and USE it.
I wish I could afford a dog. It's like being worshipped without needing to invest all the emotion in return. They don't ask for the same dependency. And they don't talk! ...at least not that you can coherently understand their language. I like taking care of things. It's not so much that I need to be a master, but it's nice to have relative control over a conscious being. I'm sick, I know... ::laughs::
Saturday, February 5, 2011
New Tat!
The pink (in the picture on the right) is what's missing. I couldn't last for the whole tattoo. My body wouldn't have it. So, I'll go back in a few weeks to get it finished.
Note to ladies: And this is a Serious TMI for men.... so you are warned.
Ladies -- don't ever -- EVER -- get a tattoo the day before your period. Your tolerance for pain is severely lessened. Oh... my freakin.... GOD. I was the most stupid girl ever and scheduled my tattoo during the day women are MOST sensitive to pain. So, again I say: NEVER get a tattoo so close to your time of the month.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tattoos - choices and aftercare
Realize some things BEFORE you get a tattoo:
What do you want / Where do you want it
"Black & Grey" or Color piece
How big do you want it
do you want to get it in one sitting, or multiple visits with healing time in between (for large pieces)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
find a reputable artist
trust your artist / trust the venue (sterile, etc)
pick a date (or dates depending if it's not one sitting)
be aware of full cost before you agree to getting the tattoo
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You cannot get laser hair removal on tattoos, so get it done before you get your tat
Do not show up drunk for your tattoo
Make sure you are healthy on the day of receiving your new tat.
What to expect:
TIP YOUR ARTIST
Pain, redness, swelling
itchiness, sensitivity to touch
compliments as well as prejudice
Ok, now that's out of the way...
I'll go over how to take care of your new tattoo without spending a fortune on Tattoo Goo / Ink Fixx / H2Ocean / Tattoo Lube / Lapeau-Ink / After Inked / TAT (Totally Awesome Tattoo) / Heaven & Hell / or whatever the hell else the parlor wants to sell to you.
You JUST got your tat? Here's what you need to do:
If wrapped in anything other than a bandage, TAKE IT OFF. If you have a bandage, keep it on for about two hours, but no more. The bleeding should have stopped by then. If you're having a bad-luck day and the gauze is stuck to your tattoo, run some cold water over the bandage until you can remove it.
Wash the tattoo to remove the plasma, which dries on the skin and creates scabs :( and no one wants your sexiness factor to go down from ugly scabs. Use liquid antibacterial or antimicrobial soap - liquid Neutrogena cleanser is GREAT. Also, use your hands! Wash cloths et al will be too harsh. You have a wound. Be as gentle as possible. Lukewarm water won't irritate the skin. Do not apply alcohol. You'll just cry like a little girl AND run the ink from your tat.
With a clean towel, pat it dry. Completely. No paper towel, unless you're desperate and SURE the fibers of the towel aren't abrasive - Like Viva. Viva is awesome and so freakin soft... but I digress... Where was I? Oh, air-dry for fifteen minutes (which is fun when you have strategically placed tats :P ).
Now it's clean and dry (finally), so we need to moisturize! First, my do-not rant:
Elevate lower leg/foot tattoos as much as possible the first two or three days.
Things to remember during healing (two/three weeks):
What do you want / Where do you want it
"Black & Grey" or Color piece
How big do you want it
do you want to get it in one sitting, or multiple visits with healing time in between (for large pieces)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
find a reputable artist
trust your artist / trust the venue (sterile, etc)
pick a date (or dates depending if it's not one sitting)
be aware of full cost before you agree to getting the tattoo
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You cannot get laser hair removal on tattoos, so get it done before you get your tat
Do not show up drunk for your tattoo
Make sure you are healthy on the day of receiving your new tat.
What to expect:
TIP YOUR ARTIST
Pain, redness, swelling
itchiness, sensitivity to touch
compliments as well as prejudice
Ok, now that's out of the way...
I'll go over how to take care of your new tattoo without spending a fortune on Tattoo Goo / Ink Fixx / H2Ocean / Tattoo Lube / Lapeau-Ink / After Inked / TAT (Totally Awesome Tattoo) / Heaven & Hell / or whatever the hell else the parlor wants to sell to you.
You JUST got your tat? Here's what you need to do:
If wrapped in anything other than a bandage, TAKE IT OFF. If you have a bandage, keep it on for about two hours, but no more. The bleeding should have stopped by then. If you're having a bad-luck day and the gauze is stuck to your tattoo, run some cold water over the bandage until you can remove it.
Wash the tattoo to remove the plasma, which dries on the skin and creates scabs :( and no one wants your sexiness factor to go down from ugly scabs. Use liquid antibacterial or antimicrobial soap - liquid Neutrogena cleanser is GREAT. Also, use your hands! Wash cloths et al will be too harsh. You have a wound. Be as gentle as possible. Lukewarm water won't irritate the skin. Do not apply alcohol. You'll just cry like a little girl AND run the ink from your tat.
With a clean towel, pat it dry. Completely. No paper towel, unless you're desperate and SURE the fibers of the towel aren't abrasive - Like Viva. Viva is awesome and so freakin soft... but I digress... Where was I? Oh, air-dry for fifteen minutes (which is fun when you have strategically placed tats :P ).
Now it's clean and dry (finally), so we need to moisturize! First, my do-not rant:
- Do not apply Vaseline, lanolin, or ANYthing with petroleum. Petroleum-based products drain the color from your tattoo, plus, they don't do anything to heal it. You'll smell like a old man, too, so... have fun with that.
- Forget about Neosporin no matter how much you swear by it. The new ink now in your skin will likely cause an allergic reaction to the product, even if you're not allergic to the Neosporin yourself. Unless you want a spotted tattoo, then don't listen to me.
- Bacitracin bleeds the color from your tattoo a few days into healing. That, simply put, just makes it difficult to keep your body art clean. Save yourself the trouble.
- Stay away from oils and bees wax because they clog pores (just like petroleum) and your tat needs to breathe in order to heal. Yes, vitamin oils promote skin rejuvenation and suppleness, but they will prolong the oozing plasma cycle which increases the chance for scabbing and ink loss. Oh, and staining your clothes and/or bedsheets aren't really my cup of tea.
- Basically, if the product you use isn't water-based, your clothes will stick to your tat. Try that on for fashion-sense.
- Make sure the lotions you use are fragrance-free. Again, this is a repeat of allergic reactions, clogged pores, and cleanliness.
- Over-application is a big no-no. Thin layers of anything is better, multiple times a day for the first two weeks.
- If you're all into that oil, vitamin, comfrey herb scene..... buy some supplements. Don't put it on your wound. There's too much risk for complications.
- Last, but certainly not least, don't do anything stupid to thin your blood for the next two days, and that's including TODAY. Drinking alcohol or taking aspirin is a bad move right now. [Were you drunk when you GOT your tattoo? Um, well, have fun explaining that one to your friends and family]
Elevate lower leg/foot tattoos as much as possible the first two or three days.
Things to remember during healing (two/three weeks):
- never soak your tattoo - so no swimming, baths, or anything of that sort
- never expose it to the sun or tanning beds/sprays. You can buy patches to cover it that block out light
- keep the tattoo covered while working around dust or dirt to prevent infection. Cover it when you go to bed, too
- don't pick at it. Yuck, and ow!
- clean it regularly (once or twice a day) with mild soap and use your hands - which are also clean! Pat dry.
- If you have any concerns, go see the artists that did your tattoo. You don't have to be done with them once you get your ink. They're there to help you, too.
- "If the skin itches, slap it. If it is peeling, put lotion on it. And if it is scabbing, just leave it alone."
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
College Ruined my Life, Prt Three
- I don't truly blame anyone (I know, such a bad American) and all I ever strive for is my happiness. I highly value education. I simply have little respect for the modern, formal, higher-education system in America.
- My love for Edgar Allen Poe is shot.. I took a college course to study his work (because I was a huge fan) but the class dissected it to death and now I can’t stand to read his stuff anymore.
- I couldn't major in music, so I've been miserable with anything else. Been slacking, taking semesters off, purposefully failing courses so I'd be academically dismissed and free from this misery. But, turns out, that simply put me in "continuing education". What bullshit.
- engaged..... then engagement called off
- reputation ruined due to lies
- had my heart broken. Twice. then left my fiance due to a hurt
- I really want to find or make my own natural beauty products - I hate drugs and chemicals
- I hope to build a social circle with people I can, oh, I don’t know… TALK TO and not feel like I’ve lost my mind.
- I promised myself I would never marry while I was in school. Now I don't need to worry about that anymore.
- I never wanted children until I was much older, but I kinda have.... baby fever and seeing my friends happy with their children (ages days through 6) puts me in a longing mood.
- No time for volleyball – don’t have enough friends for a team, anyway.
- I'm literally shopping for a new wardrobe this or next week. I can't stand these cheap college clothes.
I'm spending more time on PoleHappy. I'm getting my finances together -- ABOUT TIME -- and hoping to sponsor a pole event in 2011. I'll let you know how that goes. Maybe I'll even compete. I should get a pole first. Yet, I'll get a tattoo before I get a pole. See how I confuse myself?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
College Ruined my Life, Part II
So here I am, 24, out of college and on to get my happiness back. All I wanted to be throughout my life and since childhood…. was happy and healthy. I’m practically neither. Well, I’m Happy, but a little lost. Does that make sense?
- There are no belly dancing groups around my area (to my knowledge). I was taught ballet as a girl while my mom paid for lessons, but when I was in high school, I met a "gypsy" woman (for lack of a better term) and she discussed tribal dances with me monthly. She passed a handful of years ago and I haven't met anyone with that particular interest since.
- I realized I'm good at releasing energy via dance and cognitive exercises but how can I KEEP some energy I might not need (or want, I don't know yet) to release and creatively re-shape it into a less raw and somehow else useful energy.....
- I used to meditate - and not often. Regularly, but not often :(
- What I seem to be drawn to now is a series of stretching that gets me closer to a meditative state that meditating did. I work out a lot, and before I do, I stretch for about an hour/hour fifteen. My trainer says it looks a bit like yoga, but I've tried yoga before and I hate it.
- I noticed that I'm more connected with my body when I USE it (like when I stretch or dance) than when I'm sitting calmly
- I’m in love with the moon. I cry every time I see him now, because I feel distanced. I want to end the hurt.
- borrowed money for first time in life. Thrice! Parents and two friends.
wanted to work, but school demanded my life enough that I couldn't work full-time and receive my grant. I had to be a full-time student. - debt for university tuition
- debt for opening a small business
- thousands of dollars for hearing aids (I have a high-frequency lost) and I never freakin' wear them because they are uncomfortable :(
- There was a six-week period where I kept losing my earrings. No joke. I owned the same earrings for eight years, and all of a sudden... within two months I'm down to like, five pairs.
- Tooth surgeries (three) followed by a broken foot
- Sick often from 2004-2009, so I had less time to exercise and my health went down the drain
- to spare you details, I had my first experiences with some common health concerns relating to being female
- I burst multiple hemorrhoids and lost a month of work (later to find out rumors were spread that I had an abortion. riiiiiiiight)
- at one point my doctor put me on estrogen (long story) and now, to be blunt, I have cellulite. [Estrogen softens the fibrous connective tissue that anchors the skin to the muscle. Look it up if you want.]
- I newly developed allergies. Like - WHAT?! I can’t be allergic to the OUTDOORS. I AM one with the outdoors. So, I think college tried to kill me. I want to get my family back (plants, animals, breeze…) and I refuse to buy pharmaceutically developed and altered drugs. However (aka in the meantime), I can’t breathe or see sometimes when I’m outdoors. I want to remedy this, permanently and naturally.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
College Ruined my Life, Pt 1
- I moved to Delaware for university schooling after graduating high school in 2004 outside of Philly. I totaled my (not even) two-year-old car in a blizzard visiting my parents for the first time in eight months. Yeah, Welcome Home!
- Joining facebook was actually, in all honesty, a homework assignment for a communications class. Talk about a huge time-waster. I never wanted the damn account in the first place, but the professor said I'd fail the class if I didn't create a facebook profile. Grr. Days later, I had a bajillion friend requests from people whom I KNOW don't care about me, otherwise they would have contacted me outside.
- What is up with pop music that sucks for longer periods than it is good? I miss the 80’s and early 90's.
- My clothes stopped fitting, so I get what is cheap, thus my wardrobe does not reflect me, but my tolerance for poor fashion.
- I haven't traveled since high school. I used to visit Hawai’i almost every year and after 2000, I was on a roll with Scotland, England, Iceland, Germany, Italy, France, Switzerland, Austria…
- I'm not leisure reading. Burying yourself in textbooks for hours on end does not get you in the mood to read any more, no matter how much you enjoy the work.
For my entire childhood, I was outside all the time. All of a sudden, I hit college. I forget about my religious and spiritual practices because I’m buried in textbooks, I stop cooking because I lack time because I’m buried in textbooks, I neglect my natural athleticism and stop working out because I was so tired because I was always buried in textbooks.
I was really lost in college because I was pulled from nearly everything that made me happy and healthy (wait for next week's post). It's been a few months now and I'm back in the groove of things:
- I don't go out of my way to exercise most of the week because it's my job - I teach ballroom and pole fitness. So instead of going to work and then working out, I can do both simultaneously. I love two-for-one deals ::laughs::
- I'm eating better now (because I have more time to cook balanced, healthy foods) so I'm fine in that category.
- I'm always educating myself. I'm completing my fitness trainer certification in February and I'm taking culinary classes in May.
As if this post couldn't be filled with more random points...:
I have no one in my area to talk to about my beliefs, concerns, or spiritual paths. Furthermore, I grew up in a country setting and now I'm living in a small city. I feel a bit disconnected to animals and naked earth.
My main concern now is that I'll get started with diving into literature for druidry and it consumes my next few weeks..... and then I'll just drop it for months at a time. I think I get frustrated because I have no mentor. Not even a fellow follower to talk to. I soak all this information up and I can't dissect it into proper mental categories because I might be a little ignorant to some bits or possibly large parts of the picture I'm painting.
My main concern now is that I'll get started with diving into literature for druidry and it consumes my next few weeks..... and then I'll just drop it for months at a time. I think I get frustrated because I have no mentor. Not even a fellow follower to talk to. I soak all this information up and I can't dissect it into proper mental categories because I might be a little ignorant to some bits or possibly large parts of the picture I'm painting.
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