College Ruined my Life, Prt Three

• I don't truly blame anyone (I know, such a bad American) and all I ever strive for is my happiness. I highly value education. I simply have little respect for the modern, formal, higher-education system in America.
•  My love for Edgar Allen Poe is shot.. I took a college course to study his work (because I was a huge fan) but the class dissected it to death and now I can’t stand to read his stuff anymore.
• I couldn't major in music, so I've been miserable with anything else. Been slacking, taking semesters off, purposefully failing courses so I'd be academically dismissed and free from this misery. But, turns out, that simply put me in "continuing education". What bullshit.
• engaged..... then engagement called off 
• reputation ruined due to lies
• had my heart broken. Twice. then left my fiance due to a hurt

Where I stand now

• I really want to find or make my own natural beauty products - I hate drugs and chemicals
• I hope to build a social circle with people I can, oh, I don’t know… TALK TO and not feel like I’ve lost my mind.
• I promised myself I would never marry while I was in school. Now I don't need to worry about that anymore.
• I never wanted children until I was much older, but I kinda have.... baby fever and seeing my friends happy with their children (ages days through 6) puts me in a longing mood.
• No time for volleyball – don’t have enough friends for a team, anyway.
• I'm literally shopping for a new wardrobe this or next week. I can't stand these cheap college clothes.

Hmm, love. I had my ass handed to me these past years because I either loved too much or loved the wrong people. Even so, I always love myself. I met too many emotionally unstable individuals. Of course they all fell in love with me. One especially taught me how to hate. It's unfortunate, yet very fortunate.... in that painful but productive way...
I'm spending more time on PoleHappy. I'm getting my finances together -- ABOUT TIME -- and hoping to sponsor a pole event in 2011. I'll let you know how that goes. Maybe I'll even compete. I should get a pole first. Yet, I'll get a tattoo before I get a pole. See how I confuse myself?