Fuck Mondays

This morning sucks. What ass threw bad karma at me this morning? I don't believe I have this much poor luck.
So here's where it got started: I took a phone call from a friend last night who was hurting. No complaints here, I'm happy to be a shoulder for someone I care about. I got to sleep around.... 3am, which is insanely late for me anymore. I didn't have to be at work until 11am thankfully (at the latest, although it's always good to go in early). Cue this morning. I get texts at 7am -- from one person, so it's ignorable -- then 8am I get more from the ballroom team. I can't ignore multiple-senders because my phone goes apeshit on me.
Here's basically how it all laid out, first text I receive: I forgot the iPod for the classes tonight - ok, ask so-and-so to bring music - he's not going to be there - and the other one doesn't have samba music. Hmm, I have like, three songs on mine, but it's better than nothing so I'll bring mine.....(long pause, I can't find it)... crap, it's dead and getting repaired. I forgot
I look online to buy some on my other iPod (which has two samba songs, but they are terrible to teach beginners with) and I took so damn long that I missed my shower. OK, whatever, as long as I get breakfast. I get dressed and to shorten the story, I get breakfast all over my pants. I haven't done laundry in ages, so I have to put on a dirty pair of pants. I'd wear a dress if I shaved in the shower. But, no shower. I find my least-dirty dirty pants. I put them in the dryer to get lint off (which is why they looked dirty in the first place). Moving on....
I have no time for cooking food anymore, so I whip something up: bacon sandwich. Quick, effortless, and tasty still. Protein makes you think you're full (yay, because I won't eat for six hours) and.... oh, wait..... I just got a dental bridge that's still healing. I can't bite into this sucker. Toast is OK (pushing it, but OK) but bacon? Fuck me! I can't bite into that and like hell I'm tearing it up into tiny pieces creating tons of crumbs I'm gonna need to clean up. GRR.
Running out of time, I decide to be bold and bite into the damn thing anyway. Plus, food. Negative, OW! Later I'm to realize I got crumbs on my pants again anyway, so what was the point of de-linting them?... I was trying to be careful biting into the sandwich that my bite was all off (understandably so) and I made a mess. UGH ok, the show must go on. Pour some apple juice and be on my way. ::pours, drinks some:: and I'm a greedy bastard so I pour some more with only a little left in the bottle and I missed! It didn't spill over or whatnot.... I just MISSED the glass. There's now apple juice on the island, floor, and OH NO not my leather shoes. ::sigh:: I surgically remove my sandals once I clean the kitchen (leather shrinks, you know) and now I need other shoes. The ones I found don't match, but they do their job.
Since last time the apple juice ended up all over the kitchen and not inside my mouth, I drink so more. Wait for it.... yes, I got apple juice on my shirt. No problem if you're not wearing WHITE. I change my shirt. Something clean, appropriate (can't wear sheer, extremely low-cut, or vulgar shirts to teach a class, can you?), and fit-- ::buttons pop::

Did I really? This isn't happening. I mean, I'm not a large-chested girl by any means but COME ON I wore this shirt less than two years ago and I haven't grown any.... or so I thought. I still wear other clothes from two, three years ago that fit just fine. RARR! I'm pissed now. I have another of the same kind of shirt, but the shell underneath doesn't color coordinate at ALL with the second one. Whatever. My shoes, now my shirt... whatever.
No shower, little food (and what little I ate has since bruised my gums where my new bridge is situated), NO samba music (I know, I know... I was too picky. iTunes sucks for Latin ballroom music that isn't intimidating to newbies), smelling like apple juice with ill-matched clothes, I drive to work. Last light before the bus station..... and the little old lady in front of me isn't moving.... it's green! ::honk::... let's go! ::honk:: Did she have a heart attack at the wheel? I need to go to work! I can see the shuttle bus driving down the road now. She's still got me trapped here. We wait for another cycle of lights, she diecides to go this time, and I've missed my bus. Great, I'm gonna be late for work. Oh, why does my tummy hurt? Oh, right, I've been hurrying and cursing at my luck and worrying if I was going to be late for work (which is now confirmed) so now my nerves are acting against my stomach. Welcome to Monday.