Steampunk World's Fair 2011

There are few reasons I'd accept to go into New Jersey. SPWF is definately one of them.
It wasn't really much to write home about. I had a great time, spent too much money, got to catch up with my best friend.... but I'm probably not going back. Granted, I'd be interested to return in maybe 10 years when it's potentially much bigger. There were too many young people there, and it's not the fact that the ratio of teens/twenties-to-30plus was ridiculous, but that those teens and 20-somethings were all goth. Granted, I have nothing against black clothes and makeup with wild, purple hair. It's quite attractive on some. But seeing floods of them in one hotel.... I'll pass. The best costumes I noticed all weekend were from older individuals and I do NOT mean OLD. Just... older than the dominant age at the convention. It's probably because they have the financial resources at greater disposal than their younger followers. C'est la vie, je suppose.
HVBRIS was there, which was just about the only thing at the fair I was jumping up and down to see. They'll be at Dorian's Parlor for the 1-year anniversary party. Hello, hometown of Philly. I'mma comin' back for more!

Some people are real assholes

Note about your Cordy - she's a country girl, not a city girl. I love working in the city, but I'll always go home to the country. I don't lie to keep relationships interesting (family and friends included). I don't play head games. I don't say one thing and secretly wish you'd hope I mean the opposite. I don't use people. When someone is helping me out, I thank them to the point of annoyance. Hell, half the time someone wants to help me, I refuse it (even when I need it). I don't like burdening people.
People are not playthings (save for babies, but you need to be careful you don't break them or psychologically damage them). Pets are because they're less intelligent. Dogs especially want to please you. I don't practice that kind of a relationship (like that with dogs) with HUMANS.

All my life, I've been a terrible liar... but I'm apparently a worse truth-teller. Ex-friends left and right are telling me that I'm "completely dishonest". It makes NO SENSE to me.
- Are you having a good time?
- ::said with a completely straight face:: Yes, thank you for inviting me. I'm glad I'm here.
- God, if you're miserable, take your bitchiness home.
OK, I don't express happiness like NORMAL people. I can be quietly content. I smile when someone is funny or I witness an act that amuses me, but I usually just.... watch calmly in public. I don't like to drink, so I won't be one of those "POUR ME ANOTHER!"-types who celebrates good times with shameless drunkenness. I'm not a good joke-teller, so I won't be hanging out with the types that glorify crude, infantile, or potentially offensive humor. When I say "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!", I'm not the kind of girl who gets up and dances like this. [It's clean, I promise.] I just sit there, close my eyes, and sway as my soul responds to the music. You know, the way we civilized people do. :)

If you hate me because I said something honest that pissed you off, OK. I have little problem with you hating me for legitimate reasons. I disagree with them, but it's real. What pisses ME off is that people hate me for shit that isn't true. Your boyfriend is talking to me while your drunk self witnesses it. Cue your being pissed at me for YEARS for hitting on your boyfriend. We were having a normal conversation about how much we appreciate you as a friend - go figure - and your jealous ass now hates me for something that never happened.
Or take, for instance, a guy that seems to be real, kind, and intelligent. I think I could actually make a friend, yay! Why does it seem like out of the blue he becomes an ASSHOLE that just wants to get in your pants? Because ten minutes later, he tries to kiss me. I push him off. He's all what-the-fuck and you-know-you-want-it.
Here's a second note: When asking if a girl has a boyfriend and she replies with an affirmative answer, it doesn't mean try harder. It doesn't mean she's attempting to give you a challenge, either. I'm so fucking naive. How come I'm weaker now as an adult than I was as a child? Surely there are signs before you end up yelling "No!" at advances.
There are, literally, men whom I swear have never heard the word "no" spoken to them by a woman.

this is probably to be continued

You're Damn Right, I'm a Hypocrite!

I'm not ashamed to say it. I am one and I love myself, so that means I love being a hypocrite, right? LoL

My own advice is the most difficult to follow. Examples:

• If you want something, ask for it! If it's right for you, it'll come at the right time.
• I want to be a dance instructor! No one will e-mail me back about positions. They post online that they are looking for teachers, so I e-mail them. I tell them I shall forward my resume as per their instructions, providing I GET the instructions. Me no get da mailz.
• Fool me once, shame on you. (If you're a lucky bastard and I forgave you:) Fool me twice, shame on me. (Then, BYE!)
• ::sigh:: When you're in love, you never can follow your own rules, right? Grr!
•  If you learn only two things from life, make them these: what you want & how to ask for it
• I'm so humble and I consistently underestimate myself. I rarely find myself worthy for something I think I want and JUST THAT - I believe so strongly in looking again at my wants. Do I really want this, are third parties driving me to want this, or do I just think I want this (I'm glorifying it).
• Snail's pace or hare's pace is irrelevant; forward motion is the thing that counts.
• I'm such a perfectionist. If I don't do it at all, I'm not getting ANYWHERE. If I don't meet my own expectations, I trash what progress I've made.
• You must show up to follow.
• It's not always the thought that counts. You have to take action. Wanting to take part is not enough. Good intentions don't mean diddly if you didn't DO anything. Most people don't remember WHY you did it, but THAT you did it. And of course it means nothing when you meant to help out but didn't (for whatever reason).
• Enjoy where you are on the way to where you're going.
• ha, yeah, my worst one. I always want to be better... now.

I'm not Autistic!

God help me - why, oh, why did I pursue psychology? Especially in the last 15 months, people have asked me if they have Asperger's Syndrome. In FACT, the last person to ask even said, "its the latest and coolest disorder to have these days." What the F@¢%?!
What's worse is that some are telling me I should get scanned. Um, sorry? Yes, I have trouble sleeping. Yes, I utilize a vast and intellectual vocabulary, like an outlier of modern communicative habits. Yes, I mini-obsess over niche-targeted topics. Yes, I'm hypersensitive. Yes, I'm a perfectionist. And sure, I demonstrate a lack of empathy...
But let me tell you this - my awful relationship with sleep? Parents. Stress.
Vocab? Sorry, I went to private school and it was demanded of me to be above everyone else. It was rewarded.
Obsessing - I have a large capacity for information. I have a multitude of interests. I research and research and research.
My hypersensitivity is due to blue eyes, scar tissue on my ear drums, and my family's complete lack of taste in cuisine beyond sandwiches. Plus, I'm female.
The perfectionist issue stems from being an only child, raising myself, and a desire to better oneself.
"Lack of empathy"? No, I'm not misunderstanding you. I either find you boring, ignorant, or full of ill-intent. Of course I'd rather be alone.
Of course there a a dozen more I fit, but I'll spare you... plus, you get my point.
OK, after reading the above, I should state two more:

• I talk. A lot. Not comfortably, but because I have a significant hearing loss and I'd rather talk your ear off than mistranslate, mishear, or miss entirely what you said. Don't get me started on phones.
• I HATE looking people in the eye. In two seconds, I feel like I'm staring. I feel WAY too open if I lock eyes with someone. My eyes usually start watering, too. Maybe because looking up means that my eyes are further open meaning more light is coming into my eye and my retina can't take it. Quite honestly, the best liars I ever met look you right in the eye and don't hesitate for a second. I'm too full of emotion. I stumble on words. I talk with my hands. I raise my voice. I mumble. -- It sucks when I'm doing all of those at the same time --

and now I'm tired. Signing off.